Can A Snake Swallow A Penis?

I adopted a bronzeback from a friend. According to him, the snake will eat lizard and small frog for living. When he said small, I was thinking small, a very properly small, something looks
like this >>>>>>>>> @~ (symbol of tabpole)

I was supposedly feed it last Friday, I followed my friend's advice, and I went to some fishing shops and asked for small frog. In fact, i did find frogs, a full tank of frogs. However, they did not meet my definition of SMALL, because they all are even bigger than a 50 cents coin.

I struggled and I was thinking of giving up the snake and release it back to nature. But then, another friend gave me a 'better' idea; catch lizard or gecko to for the snake's diet.

I asked him: How to catch a lizard? They move too quick!

He answered: Use a broom or stick, sweep them onto floor and catch. Be creative!

Yes, I did try and I failed, they just move too fast. And then I decided to give an one last shoot on the frog. If the frog is too big, then it's time to say goodbye. I bought a frog for 30 cents and the shopkeeper was looking at me with a curious face and she asked: Only one ah??
Frankly speaking, I felt quite embarrassed at that particular time. Can't blame her, who will ever expect a young fella comes into their shop, only to buy a frog? I guess, she must be thought that I was making fool of her.

Finish the post, you will find the name
Greedy Bastard
is reasonable.

The Frog, aka The Unfortunate One.

Greedy Bastard moved faster than the speed of light
and it got The Frog.

The Frog was totally domed and it cannot move at all.

Greedy Bastard started to think: How am I going to swallow it?

Oh ya, start from the head!

Greedy Bastard opened its mouth as big as possible.
I beg it can even swallow a cock.

half body remained

legs now

Greedy Bastard left the legs as desert.

I was surprised by the elasticity of the snake, but its greed impressed me even more! I never thought of that, a snake is able to eat something that is few times bigger than its mouth! Right after I took all these pictures, I Google-ed a question: Idiom to describe a greedy person. However, the result shows: As greedy as a pig.

I'm disagree with the idiom! I think the person who came out with the idiom must have never seen a snake eating before! Eventually I decided boycott the idiom for the rest of my life, not until they change it to

As Greedy as A Snake

My dump girlfriend said it's cruel to feed the snake with frog. She asked me to feed the snake with vegetable, kangkung (water spinach). The funny thing is, she does not know that snakes do not eat vegetable, because they are carnivore.

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1000 days and the story ends.